Top Ten Myths of Marriage
Published by Haseeb November 24th, 2005 in Uncategorized, marriageAlthough Im not married (hint hint to all u sisters reading… lol jk jk!), and it doesnt look like ill be getting married for a while, heres an interesting publication I found on the web (actually from Shaykh Faraz’s blog):
Top Ten Myths of Marriage
(click here for FULL report with further explanations/references)
1. Marriage benefits men much more than women.
2. Having children typically brings a married couple closer together and increases marital happiness.
3. The keys to long-term marital success are good luck and romantic love.
4. The more educated a woman becomes, the lower are her chances of getting married.
5. Couples who live together before marriage, and are thus able to test how well suited they are for each other, have more satisfying and longer-lasting marriages than couples who do not.
6. People can’t be expected to stay in a marriage for a lifetime as they did in the past because we live so much longer today.
7. Marrying puts a woman at greater risk of domestic violence than if she remains single.
8. Married people have less satisfying sex lives, and less sex, than single people.
9. Cohabitation is just like marriage, but without “the piece of paper.”
10. Because of the high divorce rate, which weeds out the unhappy marriages, people who stay married have happier marriages than people did in the past when everyone stuck it out, no matter how bad the marriage.
marriage….blah!
11. Despite what all these old Muslim leaders tell you, getting married doesn’t make life easier, quite the opposite.
lol this is post is funny b/c its so orwellian. The author says that these are “myths about marriage”. Now in this context, a myth is some statement that a significant number of people believe…and it turns out that this commonly held belief is in fact false…or a myth. Half of the so called “myths” in this list are things that NO ONE believes. They are just the opposite of the point that the author is trying to make - that marriage is a very good thing, (which i’m not disputing). Let me give you an example of the technique this author is using. If i want to try to show my readers that global warming is a myth, what ill do is post up a list like this.
Top ten myths about global warming
1 - the earth is getting warmer because you are barbecuing more
2 - the polar ice caps are melting because enough people aren’t playing hockey
3- the rise in the number of hurricanes is due to more airplanes than ever before flying over the caribbean
After reading this, an idiot will say…”wow, Global warming is such a myth! None of these thing are true?? wow, it must all be bull#%^ !!”.
Let me give you 3 of the stupidest statements in here
3. The keys to long-term marital success are GOODL LUCK and romantic love.
Who believes that?????
6. People can’t be expected to stay in a marriage for a lifetime as they did in the past because we live so much longer today.
LOL, this is a myth??? I don’t think anyone actually ever even thought of this until the author made it up.
Any sister would be lucky to marry you Haseeb ;o)
i agree with “believe”. sounds like a zakir naik argument.
oh ohhhh haseeb! just read ur little hint at the top! so, use ur female friends here. what kind of a girl are u looking for?!
(might be able to find you someone)
Salamu Alaikum
Ali:
I believe that marriage makes life easier as well as difficult. The Prophet said that one who marries “completes half the religion” (istakmala nisfa al din).
The reason why the Prophet - Allah
bless him and grant him peace - stated the above is because marriage gives a person emotional, spiritual and physical support. I doubt anyone claims that responsibilties are lessened, but from the perspective above, marriage does make specific aspects of life easier.
Wasalam
Hey, are you married? I didn’t think so.
haha!
yo bro! just letting you know: MSN lifestyle has the very same article as well! sigh. this is going to be the “Bible” for me now!
why, you looking to get married, Nowel?
its actually not a set of false argument. By the way who is zaikir naik that? I’m actually being serious and wouldnt mind someone telling me who that is.
The idea that luck and romance define a prosperous marriage is not so uncommon or mythical. Many non-muslims hold it to be a self-evident truth. I mean its really not people’s fault, theres soap operas, ballads, romance novels and even the classics ie romeo and juliet, wuthering heights, scarlet letter, anthony and cleopatra all exude with it. On top of that theres no one i believe except the naive person who believes that a person who doesnt at least feel any good will towards their partner can end up in a good marriage simply because of working on it. Trust me working on it leads often enough to women clad in burqas putting a fire to themselves in kandahar. Whats love got to do with it (marriage)? Plenty.
The second comment about people not expecting to stay married, it does hold true for the post 60’s generation more so i think because of a change in values than because of prolonged life but its true.
The point is these ideas are not contemporary muslim ideas but they are contemporary ideas. They circulate widely among the general population.